Meri Chunnu!!

Sheenu left for USA today…sounds very casual for a software engineer to go “onsite”…but for me, she isn’t a “software engineer”…she never was…I am finding it pretty much difficult to put into words what she means to me…all these days since her going to USA is decided, I had been pushing the thought forward of spending days without her…its’ been more than a year and a half we have been living together…infact “had been” living together…today, when I had no space to push any thought forward…there I was standing and facing it…when she checked in and said “Goodbye”, I simply hugged her tight…words failed to come out…all I could manage to say was “take care”… as she moved away all the moments we spent together…good and bad, happy and sad were dancing in front of my eyes… I felt so helpless and suffocated in the hands of time…a phase of life seemed to come to an end…why can’t everything remain the same?? Why everything has to come to an end?? Why can’t the people whom we love SO much be with us always….Sheenu has been with me day in and day out for the past one and a half years…she has understood me, accepted and respected me for what I am, she has seen me go through the good and bad phases of life, been there for me always, and suddenly I realize that she’s gone…far far away…for the past few months, all my friends had been moving away…each time I went to say “goodbye”, I came home and cried but had a balancing thought of having someone whom I could hug tightly whenever I felt lonely, someone with whom I could quarrel without a reason with the faith that she’ll come back to ask me what happened, someone who understood my silence, someone who never gave a second thought of bashing me up!! Today when she’s gone, I am feeling awful…inspite of knowing “that life doesn’t stop”…”that friends are always there…just a call away”…”that this is the way of life”….”that I’ll be meeting more wonderful people in the days to come”…I am still feeling awful….

At this moment, when I sit down and write all this stuff…I can’t stop the tears rolling down…I am actually tired of bidding Good byes to people…I feel I have developed kind of a fear of getting attached to people ‘coz when they move away, all you are left with is memories and tears…

Chunnu!! I am gonna miss you so much!! Your saying “TUTS tooot jao”…”jasta dista tasta nasta”…”tutu lipstick laga do”…your order and farmayish for “aalloo baingan”…”you not leaving a single chance to embarrass me (calling me MOMMY in the restaurant and the waiter staring at me)”…your taking decades to get ready for the most casual occasion and me shouting at you continuously…you fluttering your eyes every now n’ then…your “maroing adayein” all the time…our zordar quarrels on SAMETIME with those HIGH FUNDU filmi dialogues…irritating you by repeating whatever you said…our CHANGU-MANGU jodi going on date-shate….GAWD the list seems to never end...!!! Sheenu, for me will never be what she is in front of the world, infact I can never ever like her that way…for me Sheenu will always remain my Chunnu…

But at the end of day, this is life…it doesn’t stop…distances don’t rule feelings…emotions can never be controlled on the parameters of time and physical presence…I don’t know when will be the next time I’ll meet Sheenu…may be after one and a half years…or who knows I’ll join her in US of A in few months…even I am a “software engineer” you see!!!

Chunnu, you have made a difference in my life…Thanks for being there…love you INNNNNAA SAAARAAAA!!