It was holi yesterday…for the first time in my life I celebrated Holi that was so dry!! My roomies were giving me a whatta-nonsense-gal-she-is looks when I was dancing around in the house asking them to celebrate holi!!! Finally we were at our friend’s place with red faces and a happy feeling inside me that I finally “played Holi”!! time and again things happen that remind me that I am away from my-home…my-place…I am finding myself in the midst of thoughts…thoughts that seem to be so conflicting at times…thoughts all around me…thoughts that compel me to think…to take a stance…something that I don’t intend to do right now…
Life here is…I dunno…what can I call it? Maybe ironical…in a sense that makes you feel amused, happy, excited but sad at the same time…five people staying in one house…I can’t call it home…home is in dewas…home was where the four clowns lived…everyone here in on the phone except for me…everyone glued to the cell phone…sitting in a corner…with a handsfree attached to the ear…dinner plate in the hands and sitting in front of the laptop…no one has the time to speak to people inside the house…people…in flesh and blood…people living…moving…”in the house”!! for me…things are a bit different…I am not on the phone most of the times…reason being as simple as not having anyone to talk to the way these gals do…not that I won’t enjoy that but then at the same time I can’t talk to “just anyone”….i have my dinner watching TV…I hate eating food in front of the laptop!! And the most ironical part which pinches me…bugs me…hurts me…bothers me is Chunnu and I used to talk more when I was in India and she was here…here…we just miss out on talking to each other…and by the time I realize that I find Chunnu on the phone or Chunnu finds me asleep or checking out some production issue….!!
I am not feeling well today and I am missing home…I am missing aai baba…and I am missing them badly…we take so many things granted in our life! When I am sitting here and tapping the keyboard with this stuff I remember the khichdi aai prepared…I remember her stroking my hair and her hands on my forehead to check the temperature…dad’s taking my side when aai used to scold me…those quarrels with bhai…and both of us being locked in the room…our playing Holi together…going to market with baba sitting on the scooter to buy pichkari and balloons and colors…there’s something here that makes me feel hollow…empty from inside…and then I am surrounded by the thought of good things here…I just find myself short of people to share all this with…
I was reading Abhinav’s blog yesterday…only that he puts up everything with a coating of something that sounds funny…that looks funny…but the feeling is universal…even he misses home…his mom…his place…but presents it in a much better way...very much unlike me…
And last but not the least, some additions to my last writeup…
Found this sketch by Sujatha…she had gifted this cute Popoye sketch to me…just like that! I have put that on my desk…remember her when I see that sketch…
Went to play bowling yesterday…missed Mahan n’ Surya…missed the times when I used to hangout with these guys…and played bowling to vent out the “negative energy”…that how Mahan used to call it…!!
Read Vamsi’s blog and missed the golden time I spent in aamchi Mumbai…I miss the local trains…BEST buses…crowd…road side shopping…hawkers with “chana chor garam”…
Each Saturday I miss going to VMS (Victoria Memorial School for the visually impaired)…miss the kids…miss the feeling to contentment I used to have after teaching them…miss my GANG of VMS friends…
Life here is…I dunno…what can I call it? Maybe ironical…in a sense that makes you feel amused, happy, excited but sad at the same time…five people staying in one house…I can’t call it home…home is in dewas…home was where the four clowns lived…everyone here in on the phone except for me…everyone glued to the cell phone…sitting in a corner…with a handsfree attached to the ear…dinner plate in the hands and sitting in front of the laptop…no one has the time to speak to people inside the house…people…in flesh and blood…people living…moving…”in the house”!! for me…things are a bit different…I am not on the phone most of the times…reason being as simple as not having anyone to talk to the way these gals do…not that I won’t enjoy that but then at the same time I can’t talk to “just anyone”….i have my dinner watching TV…I hate eating food in front of the laptop!! And the most ironical part which pinches me…bugs me…hurts me…bothers me is Chunnu and I used to talk more when I was in India and she was here…here…we just miss out on talking to each other…and by the time I realize that I find Chunnu on the phone or Chunnu finds me asleep or checking out some production issue….!!
I am not feeling well today and I am missing home…I am missing aai baba…and I am missing them badly…we take so many things granted in our life! When I am sitting here and tapping the keyboard with this stuff I remember the khichdi aai prepared…I remember her stroking my hair and her hands on my forehead to check the temperature…dad’s taking my side when aai used to scold me…those quarrels with bhai…and both of us being locked in the room…our playing Holi together…going to market with baba sitting on the scooter to buy pichkari and balloons and colors…there’s something here that makes me feel hollow…empty from inside…and then I am surrounded by the thought of good things here…I just find myself short of people to share all this with…
I was reading Abhinav’s blog yesterday…only that he puts up everything with a coating of something that sounds funny…that looks funny…but the feeling is universal…even he misses home…his mom…his place…but presents it in a much better way...very much unlike me…
And last but not the least, some additions to my last writeup…
Found this sketch by Sujatha…she had gifted this cute Popoye sketch to me…just like that! I have put that on my desk…remember her when I see that sketch…
Went to play bowling yesterday…missed Mahan n’ Surya…missed the times when I used to hangout with these guys…and played bowling to vent out the “negative energy”…that how Mahan used to call it…!!
Read Vamsi’s blog and missed the golden time I spent in aamchi Mumbai…I miss the local trains…BEST buses…crowd…road side shopping…hawkers with “chana chor garam”…
Each Saturday I miss going to VMS (Victoria Memorial School for the visually impaired)…miss the kids…miss the feeling to contentment I used to have after teaching them…miss my GANG of VMS friends…
2 comments:
Hey Ritu,
Its my weekend in office and I figured I needn't be totally sincere to work on a weekend;) It looks like the thing you're doing the most out there is missing people! And the fact that you're posting on your blog regularly gives me the feeling that there aren't too many people that you're talking to often out there... I empathise with the loneliness you feel..... but you've got Shruti and Sheenu and Ankur out there (is Rahul there too, he was supposed to come for a month right?) in the same country... must be a solace of some sort.... anyways...take heart.....watch Friends;-)
Cheers!
Me.
Uee ma ! With all those wild red streaks on ur faces , u guys should have put some kinda child lock on the picture in this post . I was almost like "Mommy ! I am scared !" . And imagine my holi in kerala . people here were like "Holi ? How do u spell it?".Not a single grain of color on me this holi.And yeah , everyone misses home.And I dont put it in a better way , I am just more scared than you in facing my sorrows.:)
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