its' rakhi today....

its' Rakhi today....

missing you Bhai...:((

I was in Chicago downtown the day before...just spending some time there before I leave this place...Chicago downtown is few of the better downtowns I have seem so far...I like being there...m gonna miss this place....I was just roaming around the place and saw Barnes and Noble...cudn't stop myself from getting inside the shop...and there I went in...and behaved like an uncontrollable moron! I do that every time I see books all around me...Schaumburg Library is another place that handles my hyper behaviour! :) I just kept on picking books one from each aisle I walked through...only after I had some 10-12 odd books with me, I realized that I won't be able to buy all of those...and somewhere the child inside me got really sad:( I placed all the books back to their places with a heavy heart...and picked ONLY ONE book to take with me...the book's "Send in the Idiots" by Kamran Nazeer...I had to read this one since a long time...I came out of BArnes n' Noble smiling having done something good for the day...and went ahead to do something better...I walked a couple of blocks and placed myself comfortably in Starbucks on a couch (near the window) with my Cappucino (with Hazelnut, Grande') and a big piece of blueberry coffee cake and enjoying my book! GAWD I enjoyed the whole thing just as a kid enjoys his icecream (one in each hand)!! It was something I hadn't done for quite sometime....nothing would have made me feel better....u bet! BAck in Mumbai, I used to often goto CCD at Bandra and enjoy my coffee, my book and the sea in the front...this is one the best ways I spent time alone...and I love doing it...As for the book...its' a real good one...do read it when u get time...I just came upstairs after reading near a small lake near my apartment...thats another of my favourite places to read a book...I am done halfway...just waiting for this song to complete before I get back to my book....do listen to "maula mere le le meri jaan" from Chak de India...its' a very soothing song...at least makes me feel at peace....

marriage....aah!

the most complex thing is this world are human beings!! and they have this inherent ability to further complicate their lives....I watch people struggling with themselves...for doing something they don't want to...then thinking that maybe they want to...then battling to find out what do they exactly want...whether they are actually moving towards their happiness or moving away from it....everyone around me is getting married or at least moving towards getting married....some because they have finally found the right person...and others because they have to...or they should....and then I am being asked why I am not thinking about it...I end up giving a simple one line reply..."simply because I don't feel like." and I end up showing attitude...funny...ain't it...!?!? isn't it a very simple thing to understand that I simply don't feel like getting married right now...'coz I haven't found the right person...the day I'll find the right person, it won't even take a moment for me to take this decision...right now for the world that seems to be the "ultimate" thing I need to do!! :)) So for all the people around who are worried for my marriage....don't worry...I'll get married...and you guys won't even realize when that happens....:))

Hey, time won't wait... Life goes by... Every day's a brand new sky... Every tear comes to dry... by Rebecca Lynn Howard and Jim Brickman

Its’ 4 in the morning and I am wide awake…there was thunder n’ lightening outside and I got up to check …cudnt get to sleep after that...too many thoughts inside this pit we call mind…I think of a situation when I am not thinking about anything…absolutely nothing at all…and guess what!? I end up thinking how weird this thought is!!

I catch hold of Chunnu’s laptop and start playing around with the keys…I need get one now…its’ been quite sometime that I was without a laptop…gotta used to it badly…habits are bad…I hate ‘em!! For the time being when I didn’t have that easy an access to the laptop, I had got back to my old way of scribbling…in its’ literal sense…I was with my diary and pen…feels good for a change…kinda reliving some old days…I scribbled some stuff about my NY and Vegas trip in the diary…maybe someday I’ll put that on the blog…but I am really not sure when…

Life has been taking its’ twists n’ turns…things happening, people coming and going…old friends meeting n’ departing…new friends in the making…earlier I used to wonder about this whole thing…but only now after all these years…after making friends, parting ways, meeting again and making new ones…I have accepted this as a way of life…and I get amused by the number of friends I have made in this journey…

My current assignment got over last week…waiting for the next one…I miss going to that office…as for the work, its’ gonna be there, at some place or the other…its’ only the people that make the difference…we get so greedy for friends and relationships…all we want is more…Pooja left for India last week…all for good…though I have accepted the fact that parting ways is just a part of life…I still have a strong dislike towards that thought though…I hate bidding goodbyes to people…Palak was the first one I had bid goodbye to when he left for his college after school...I happen to remember him for some reason or the other...23rd july was his b'day...I miss wishing him...I chose to forget the fact he is no more...ahem ahem back on the track....this mind is an abyss for thoughts...i get lost at times...so back to bidding good byes and parting ways...i realize that somewhere I have changed…I have grown up…after coming here, Chunnu always blames me for becoming more of “less emotional” types, a major reason being that I accept the things that happen around in a very matter-of-fact way…I have kinda stopped trying to change people or to be more precise, stopped expecting anything at all from people around…so things don’t bother me now…not that I have become less thoughtful or less emotional; only that this way keeps me happy n’ cool…its’ very difficult to accept the fact your good friends will be moving away with time…though they’ll still be around…but the boundaries of that “being around” will keep expanding with each passing day…that priorities will change in life…that something “more important” will be there in your friends’ lives…the sooner you accept this fact…the better it becomes…maybe now I have completely accepted this fact, Chunnu thinks me of a less emotionl, less thoughtful kinds…but I don’t blame her for that…she ought to think this way…’coz she hasn’t seen me detaching from things and people around so easily before…:) as for my friends…I love them all…I miss them all… and I’ll be there for them always… until something more important comes up…!! As of now…you guys be happy to have me around…that “more important” is still to come…;) and whenever you feel down…just watch a couple of episodes of F.R.I.E.N.D.S.!! nothing can beat it! And it works all the time!! I can bet on that!! And you know what!?!? I love Chandler!!! He rocks!

As of now, I am so tempted to wake up everyone…(the wicked ritu in action) ….i hope it doesn’t rain that hard…we are planning to go to the temple today (the spiritual ritu will be in action!!)hehehheheee

I win...

I get up and its’ still dark…
Shadows of the past all around me…
I am trying to catch the shadows…
And the shadows trying to catch me…
Don’t know when this game started…
Don’t know when I became a part of it…
But its’ not just me who’s playing this game…
Its’ not just me who wants to win this game…
And there I see is the end of it…
‘coz there I see is the dawn…
the rays have pierced the dark…
taking me towards the morning…
taking me where I belong…
holding my hand and guiding me along…
and I finally I win the game…
‘coz the shadows are behind me…
and all ahead of me is light…

help me find this poem...:)

its' not once...not twice...but has happened more than often....where I just happened to surf the net...visiting sites, reading stuff...and came across poems that happened to be my favorties...and then I thought some of the poems that I read in my schooldays....one such is Solitary Reaper by William Wordsworth that I read in my VI Std. and is one of my favorites....

Solitary Reaper

BEHOLD her, single in the field,
Yon solitary Highland Lass!
Reaping and singing by herself;
Stop here, or gently pass!
Alone she cuts and binds the grain,
And sings a melancholy strain;
O listen! for the Vale profound
Is overflowing with the sound.


No Nightingale did ever chaunt
More welcome notes to weary bands
Of travellers in some shady haunt,
Among Arabian sands:
A voice so thrilling ne'er was heard
In spring-time from the Cuckoo-bird,
Breaking the silence of the seas
Among the farthest Hebrides.

Will no one tell me what she sings?—
Perhaps the plaintive numbers flow
For old, unhappy, far-off things,
And battles long ago:
Or is it some more humble lay,
Familiar matter of to-day?
Some natural sorrow, loss, or pain,
That has been, and may be again?

Whate'er the theme, the Maiden sang
As if her song could have no ending;
I saw her singing at her work,
And o'er the sickle bending;—
I listen'd, motionless and still;
And, as I mounted up the hill,
The music in my heart I bore,
Long after it was heard no more.

There's one other poem called "Simon Snoot's Whiskers" that I had read in my VIII Std. and remember as one of the poems that made me understand what similies were!!! I have searched the net thoroughly for this poem but failed :( Anyone of you reading this if at all happens to find the poem "Simon Snoot's Whiskers"...do let me know!!

a nice Saturday...

I, me, myself....these words were getting onto my head for the past few days...I suddenly realized that since the day I have arrived here, its' me, my flight, my job, my manager, my work, my trips, my shopping...ain't that too much! its' just too much!!

I missed the days when I used to get down at Mumbai Central station and goto Victoria Memorial School to spend some time with the kids there...and come back feeling content that I have done something that goes beyond "me"...I cudn't find a chance to do anything similar here...and I wasn't very pleased about it...on top of it, I met people who were so self obsessed...obsessed about the appearance, the looks, not that its' something unusual...but at times it gets just too much! there so much to see, think, feel and ponder upon than just ourselves, our looks, our clothes...isn't it!! I just happened to get a chance to volunteer for this sports n' fest organized for disabled kids by a local newspaper...perfect timing for me...I needed something like this badly ... and after a long time I experienced that feeling of satisfaction like I used to have when I used to goto VMS...

When I came back home and thought about it...I happened to realize about feelings that are so universal...compassion, love, the happiness you get when u make a smile appear on someone's face...the sadness and helplessness you feel when you see people around you in pain and you can't do anything about it...except for being there...everything is beyond the race, caste, color, boundaries, nations, language...all the stuff that we have just made up for ourselves...the reason for which I still haven't understood...at the end of everything, its' only about lending a hand...passing a smile...empathise with the pain...share the happy n' sad moments...and feel satisfied...and isn't it ironical that I do all this 'coz it makes "me" feel good....

after a long break...

its' been ages I sat down and given myself some time ...there have been so many thoughts and experiences that have been wandering in my mind...waiting to come out...and now that I have actually thought to take them out...I feel stuck...I feel lost...I dunno how to put them down....the experiences are so many and so different...that made me feel happy, sad, nostalgic, depressed, excited, serious, funny... exeriences which made me realize how varied are the thoughts, concepts and expectations of people on things...Friendship...its' a big word...ask me...and I'll define it as the ability to share Silence...to understand the silence...another person I know happened to expects everything to be spoken explicitly in friendship...each and every thought...and then I sit down and wonder...does everything actually needs to be spoken out to be expressed?? I can never relate to that...maybe that's one of the reasons I am misunderstood many a times...but then yes, there are times when you actually need to speak out things...else it haunts you all your life...

I have been going around and watching places...places that were beautiful and new....that made me feel excited, and wonder about the beauty on earth...about the several destinations that I still haven't reached...the variety of places just keeps on increasing...from the natural beauty of tulips in Holland to the amazing work of architecture and imagination in St. Louis when I stood in front of the Arch...still going further to the hidden beauty of stalactites and stalagmites in the Meramac Caverns...something that I had just read in books...but then in all the variety of these places...I felt something thats so much universal...the people and their emotions....while I was sitting in one of the restaurants having my breakfast...I saw a couple in their seventies who seemed to have come for a vacation...and only then I realized that human emotions are just beyond the boundaries of nations, cultures, languages, age...two people who have spent a large part of their lives together will love each other immensely and selflessly no matter where they live, what language they speak or how they look...and after watching that cute old couple somewhere inside me I wanted to meet my better half....soon....:)

Time at the workplace just flies off...work keeps me busy all the time...good in a way...I don't have the time to miss home, family, friends...people at the workplace are a variety in themselves...from really soft spoken lot, to the ones full of life...always ready to help...to the typical managers who are all concerned about nothing else but their work been done...I've had my share of experiences with all these varieties of people...and then I witnessed something that I knew only theoretically...I had only read about people being laid off from their jobs until I actually saw this happening at my workplace where people were called in and told they need not come to the office from the next day...!! and people took it in their stride after feeling a bit disappointed...almost all my managers and colleagues here are pretty older to me and they take me as a kid many times! After this layoff thing happening...one of them managed to crack a joke on this drama...leaving me absolutely blank for a reaction...after watching me for a second, he simply smiled, patted my back and said, "You have just started your career...I have seen this many times in the 30 years of my career...So don't feel bad...this is the way things happen..."

Its’ high time people around me…especially elders think that I should get married…J and even people of my age have been seriously thinking about settling down in life…not that I am not thinking about it, but there’s something different in the way I think that’s not so usual like my other friends…I am watching people talking to 2-3 even 4-5 guys and doing a parallel analysis as to which one is the closest to their idea of groom!! No offence attached, but I don’t understand how can one talk to 4-5 guys and take a decision! I don’t know maybe if things don’t go right, even I might end up doing something similar…but u bet…I can never handle that parallel analysis thing! Thanks to mum n’ dad who are supporting enough for not asking me do something like this…I believe that things just click when they are destines too…sounds filmi…no it doesn’t to me…I need to feel the click to take a decision…and defining that click is beyond my scope!! hope it happens soon…again…

beauty in irony...

I ended my previous post with..."Life is beautiful"...and I start this one adding..."Life is ironical"...maybe thats the beauty of it...It gives you instances to ponder upon...experiences to learn from...the good and the bad things popping up and disappearing and popping up again...like a sine wave...the moment we go on a high with all the good things happening around, it puts you into something which makes you realize...'anything can happen'....

I was very happy the day before for certain things going right, certain chapters coming to an end...and I get a news which shook me...which was big enuff to HIT me badly...Sanu just called me and said one line..."Sujatha has been detected Brain Tumor"....I felt numb for a second...its' been the second time within 3 months something like this happened...it was motu's mom and now its' Sujatha...and only now I realize the worst part of being SO far away from home....I can't just go and see someone I love...had I been in Mumbai, I would have been with Sujatha...could see her...could hug her...now that I am here...all I do is pray for her...pray for a girl who's just too sweet to face something as awful as this...but then I also know that good things happen to good people...things like these are the testing times to make us realize that we can't control things beyond a point...I have seen motu's mum, motu, her family going through the pain...and coming out of it...and I know that Suji is going to come out of it too...!! every dark cloud has a silver lining...every bad phase has to be followed by a good one...it has to...and it will...

I completed this post...finally!!!

its' been quite a while I have written something...not that I was falling short of things to scribble about...but somehow cudnt manage to pen down my thoughts....my last writeup was bad....as was my mood that day! but thats gone now...over...completely over...lessons learnt..."Don't get shocked/surprised/pissed off by people's actions"...anything is possible!

I had better things waiting for me after this bitter experience...I was flying to Washington DC to meet Shruts and Mattoo! It had been so long I had seen Shruti...the 3 clowns were back together again...what we did the most...missed our 4th clown...missed her just too much to mention...the next thing we did...laughed and laughed and laughed on all those stories that we remembered umpteenth time!! I have stopped the count we repeatedly talked about our "HIGH kisse and kaand" and rolled on the floor laughing!!! another interesting phenomenon: meeting MAttoo's roomies: a kallu, a mongolian, 2 Indians: one sweetly wierd and another simply wierd!! they might be thinking us as wierd; especially when sheenu, shruti and I were just laughing our hearts out!! all perception uc ;))

the next two days were just too short to pass by...we just went on and on and on looking places...The Capitol, The White House, The Washington Memorial, The Lincoln Memorial, Pentagon, and not to forget the museums....those were just TOO many and TOO huge to cover in a couple of days...at the end of everything I felt so short of time in my hands...I mean just come to think of it...so many things to do, so many places to visit, so much to learn, so much to know...wished life was longer to do all of these...wished days had 48 hrs...or maybe 96 ;))...I also went to the National Cathdral in DC...it was HUGE, it was beautiful and it was so peaceful there...all n' all my DC trip was fun! only that I missed the Cherry Blossom Festival by 15 days:( some other time...

the next week I went to the TCS Springfest party...hoping to see some good guys around...;) but ALAS! I went there only to find out about the growing numbers of those "typical" South Indian guys in Chicago :((( not that all South Indian are bad...c'mon who knows better than me! he was a tamilian ....but the crowd here was saddeningly bad :((

I dunno wheres days fly off...weeks are over in a flick...lemme remember if I have done something significant in the past two weeks...ummmm....work...aah c'mon! I need to remember something "significant"...well that leaves me with only one thing..."watching F.R.I.E.N.D.S."!!! I have always been a die hard F.R.I.E.N.D.S fan...only at times my craze to wtch F.R.I.E.N.D.S. becomes dormant for some reasons...it currently its' UP and very much UP! so I have been watching F.R.I.E.N.D.S. like everyday till I can manage...the only reason that makes me stop that is the thought of getting up in the morning...:(( and each time I watch F.R.I.E.N.D.S., I end up with one conclusion...." I love Chandler!!!!" "I simply absolutely love him!!"

another weekend has started...and whatta start! I get a wakeup call asking me to login and solve some production issue!! rocking! isn;t it!! :)) neways, after the "safai abhiyaan" aka "cleanliness drive" of our house...I sit down here to complete my post that has been lingering around since ages....

and last but not the least...I am very happy today...for reasons not to be mentioned...its' a day for aai, baba, bhai and I to celebrate!! Life is beautiful....

Happy Holi!!

It was holi yesterday…for the first time in my life I celebrated Holi that was so dry!! My roomies were giving me a whatta-nonsense-gal-she-is looks when I was dancing around in the house asking them to celebrate holi!!! Finally we were at our friend’s place with red faces and a happy feeling inside me that I finally “played Holi”!! time and again things happen that remind me that I am away from my-home…my-place…I am finding myself in the midst of thoughts…thoughts that seem to be so conflicting at times…thoughts all around me…thoughts that compel me to think…to take a stance…something that I don’t intend to do right now…

Life here is…I dunno…what can I call it? Maybe ironical…in a sense that makes you feel amused, happy, excited but sad at the same time…five people staying in one house…I can’t call it home…home is in dewas…home was where the four clowns lived…everyone here in on the phone except for me…everyone glued to the cell phone…sitting in a corner…with a handsfree attached to the ear…dinner plate in the hands and sitting in front of the laptop…no one has the time to speak to people inside the house…people…in flesh and blood…people living…moving…”in the house”!! for me…things are a bit different…I am not on the phone most of the times…reason being as simple as not having anyone to talk to the way these gals do…not that I won’t enjoy that but then at the same time I can’t talk to “just anyone”….i have my dinner watching TV…I hate eating food in front of the laptop!! And the most ironical part which pinches me…bugs me…hurts me…bothers me is Chunnu and I used to talk more when I was in India and she was here…here…we just miss out on talking to each other…and by the time I realize that I find Chunnu on the phone or Chunnu finds me asleep or checking out some production issue….!!

I am not feeling well today and I am missing home…I am missing aai baba…and I am missing them badly…we take so many things granted in our life! When I am sitting here and tapping the keyboard with this stuff I remember the khichdi aai prepared…I remember her stroking my hair and her hands on my forehead to check the temperature…dad’s taking my side when aai used to scold me…those quarrels with bhai…and both of us being locked in the room…our playing Holi together…going to market with baba sitting on the scooter to buy pichkari and balloons and colors…there’s something here that makes me feel hollow…empty from inside…and then I am surrounded by the thought of good things here…I just find myself short of people to share all this with…

I was reading Abhinav’s blog yesterday…only that he puts up everything with a coating of something that sounds funny…that looks funny…but the feeling is universal…even he misses home…his mom…his place…but presents it in a much better way...very much unlike me…

And last but not the least, some additions to my last writeup…

Found this sketch by Sujatha…she had gifted this cute Popoye sketch to me…just like that! I have put that on my desk…remember her when I see that sketch…

Went to play bowling yesterday…missed Mahan n’ Surya…missed the times when I used to hangout with these guys…and played bowling to vent out the “negative energy”…that how Mahan used to call it…!!

Read Vamsi’s blog and missed the golden time I spent in aamchi Mumbai…I miss the local trains…BEST buses…crowd…road side shopping…hawkers with “chana chor garam”…

Each Saturday I miss going to VMS (Victoria Memorial School for the visually impaired)…miss the kids…miss the feeling to contentment I used to have after teaching them…miss my GANG of VMS friends…

hazaron khwahishen aisee...

had dinner, watched F.R.I.E.N.D.S....Sandy and Pooja have already slept, they are the "good gals" of the house!! Sheenu and Neha haven't come yet...and i am sitting in front of my laptop...thinking, missing, enjoying...and yes...writing...

there has been something or the other happening here that reminds me of people...

I was watching the Laughter Challenge on my laptop and rolled with laughter when "pehchaun kaun" act by Navin Prabhakar came!! and I missed Avi....

I was flipping the pages of my notebook when the printout of one of the emails that Vamsi had sent me dropped down...I read...I re-read...and I missed Vamsi...

I was inside this store to buy some stuff when this girl behind me happened to say "WAAAWWWW" for something...and I missed Tai...

I missed JD on 23rd...its' been 2 years we met...that was the only time I guess I was SO wrong in judging someone!! I had thot of him as a sensible serious chap and he turned out to be the maximum possible opposite sorts...!! a complete nautanki!! :))

I eat strawberries almost everyday and I miss Vipula...she loves strawberries...

I hardly make tea here...infact I haven't prepared tea since I came here...whoever drinks tea makes it for themselves...and everyday I miss Sanu...miss the moments of my cribbing to prepare tea for her...miss Sanu's expressions that became "oh-so-sweet" so that I made tea for her...although there are just too many reasons to mention why I miss Sanu...

watched OSCARS yesterday and remembered the rick drives of Sanu, me, Shruti and Vij in Mumbai at late hours after watching all the OSCAR nominated movies in Mumbai...

talked to aai about the Filmfare awards and missed watching some real "desi channels" on the TV...watching Abhishek Bachchan....:((

saw the snaps of my offshore team going on picnic...missed being with them...missed having fun with the gang there....(n' yes that inclused my tall-dark-handsome PL at offshore!!!) ;))

as for aai, baba and bhai...I don't need a reason...an instance to miss them....

but then I enjoy being here...meeting new people...doing a job which is challenging...exploring new places...eating out...hanging out...enjoying the snowfall...the drive...the place...the system...the culture...

and now I wonder on a situation where I am enjoying all this stuff with the people I love...my aai, baba, bhai...friends...

we get so greedy at times...we want everything all together...why don't desires come to an end...why aren't dreams over....

but then we need desires...a desire to live...a desire to fulfill the desires...dreams would never be over, 'coz each time we will goto sleep...we'll dream of something and get up with a desire to fulfill that dream...

hazaron khwahishen aisi ke har khwahish pe dum nikle...
bhaut nikle mere armaan lekin fir bhi kam nikle...

can't come up with a title...

I sit and I wonder...
I am moving ahead...but I wanna stop for a while...
I look back and I smile...
so many years have just passed by...
fail to stop them however hard I try...
school and college getting over in a flick...
and time was just playing its' trick...
and before I realized...
Here I am in a new country...
all mesimerized...
still pinch myself to find everything around me is for real...
miss my home...but got one over here...
miss mum, dad, family n' friends...
but getting to know things that are new and trying to comprehend...
feeling amused as life unfolds...
experiencing the new and cherishing the old...
and waiting for the next day with some new stories to be told...

another weekend's over...:(

so many things happening...so many things to be done...so many destinations to be reached...so many journeys to travel...so many things to be explored...

crux of the story is...I've got so much to write but falling short of chance n' time...
just the highlights right now...details later...

Friday...
went out to Chipotle for lunch and had a sllllurrpingly tasty Mexican lunch! those Burritos were awsumm!!
the good day ended soon with issues popping up at 9 p.m. and I ended up with a night out in front of that laptop till 10 in the morning...:((

Saturday...
did laundry...;)) whatta thing to mention!! heheheheee
watched My Best Friend's Wedding and Jerry Maguire...
went to Michaels...its one of the biggest store for arts n' crafts!! details later...
had one of the best chocolate icecreams at Ben n' Jerry's!
had a gappa party at home... with some tasty tortillas n' salsa...c'mon guys I am a foodie...can't help that !!! ;)
played cards after a long time...

Sunday...
went to Gurudwara and had lunch at langar... awsumm food again!!
went to see the frozen River Fox...
watched Guru...
enjoyed the snowfall!! feeling the cotton-like-snow on your face is amazing...

thats it right now...gotto go to sleep...kal fir Monday!! AAAAAH i hate those mondays!!!

its' chillllllinnnnnnnggggg.....!!!

I had written this post yesterday but forgot to put it on the blog…better late than never…so here it is…

The temperature’s –30 degree F and its’ chillllllling!!! I just saw outside the window and all’s covered in a white sheet of snow…looks beautiful but only for a while…for a moment I remembered the Mumbai rains…only that the water was replaced by snow!!! I dunno how am I going to drive back home with all the snow around…its’ a usual day in the office…all work no play…gotto finish up things…dreaming of going home, getting inside the blanket and enjoying a cuppa coffee reading a book…but as of now I can only “dream” about it…

I decide to do something practical…so take a break…write my blog and go back to work…

Ah, before I end…Tim bought cookies for all of us!! He baked those and they are amazingly awesome!!! He’s one of the most affectionate people around…and getting affection when you are far far away from home…means a lot….here I take the last bite of cookie and get back to work…these cookies are yummmmmmyyy!!!

weekend's over...:(

its' 23:45...the weekend's over...:(( another week with loads of work on my head...but then another weekend to wait for....:))

I am all ready to fall asleep but thot of scribbling down something on this blog which has become one permanent and loyal part of life....(waiting for a better "permanent and loyal part-ner) !!! In all the cases this blog's gonna be with me always...

The weekend was a relaxed one...weather forecast had predictions of the temp. dropping to -4 degree F...so had no other choice but to be at home....its' CHILLING out here!! neways, sheenu, neha n' I did went for a drive yesterday evening (we were so tired sitting at home!!). We thot of eating some rich desserts and coming back...but then we ended up going for Salam-e-ishq...and yeah...that was a bad decision...except for Sallu!! GOSH he's SO handsome....and he seems to be become handsome-er and handsome-er with his age!!! Believe me...Sallu was the only good thing happened in Salam-e-ishq!! But then again this was my first-hindi-movie-in-Chicago!!

Sunday went completely at home....yes "completely"...Ujju went back to India today...3 months back, when she was leaving for Schaumburg, I had packed her bags and bid her goodbye in Mumbai...without any idea that I'll be here in Schaumburg again to pack her bags and bid her bbye to India!! Life's so unpredictable!! When I reached Chicago, I pinched myself just to realize that it was all real...I actually felt like a moron of thinking so much in the past...you never know what's in store for you, and your "thinking" is not going to make an ounce of a difference...things just happen when are supposed to...

Experinces till now are amusing!! neways, I haven't seen many places till now...All Thanks to this Winter here!! but whatever I have seen, experienced is amusing...Ujju had treated us before leaving in India Gardens (one of the decent Indian restaurants here)...its' funny to see someone take an order for Da'l Ta'dka' and Paneerrr Ja'lfreeyezee with an absolute-american-accent!!! Similar experience when I went to "Milan Chat" and had samosas there...only to realize that one samosa costed 350/-....I gotto stop this converting-dollars-to-rupees!!!

I was making parathas the other day when suddenly some irritating sound started...it took me sometime to believe that my paratha-making had made the fire alarm to work!!! Thankfully the alarm stopped after 5-10 mins...(it took us a good effort to make it stop!!) The very next day I heard a more irritating and loud alarm...it ended up being the fire alarm for the whole building!! within 10 mins all the people were seen downstairs in their nightsuits!! the next thing was "Arrival of the FIRE BRIGADE"!! After another 15 mins we were told that someone had burnt the curry in one of the apartments and everything was safe...:)) had the alarm from my parathas went a bit longer, a similar scene would have happened!! :))) mind you...but I have become so cautious while cooking!!!

YAAAAWWWWWWWWWWNNNNN.......I am sleepy....gotto get up early tomorrow...:(( I hate Mondays!!

but my hatred for Mondays won't make any difference...So thats it for now...

so much work...:((

its' been 3 days in the office and I am being "bombarded" with work...not that I didn't like to wrk...but was just out of touch for a while....;)) I can actually feel the stress of working at the client site:( Tim asked me today if I had any grey hair...and when I denied that....he winnked and said...don't worry they'll pop up soon here!!

Life is so different here...My day starts at 6:30 and I reach office at 7:30...(something that I haven't done in YEARS)...mum...I hope you read this...you'll be the happiest to know about this!!days are really short here....they just start and end in a flick!!and suddenly you realize ....all you did in the office is "work"...."only work"....again something I was out of touch of...;) Lunch wraps up in 10 mins....unlike those elaborate meals we used to have in Mumbai...I am just getting used to it....neways, funda is simple...I have come here to work and I am doing that...In a way I am liking this routine...only that the stress levels at the workplace are too high...they are getting onto my nerves right now and I am not enjoying that at all!! :(( but no worries...this will also pass by...

After a tiring day when I get back home...I face a very blunt fact....fact that I am away from home...away from people I love...away from people who love me... (Chunnu is an exception...I just love her!!) everyone here is so busy with their ownself...their life...their stress...their worries...I don't even tslk to all the people living with me in the same house...and I am not used to that...the "personal space"given is just too much to handle....
but then even I don't have time to ponder on it...'coz I just gotto cook the dinner and goto sleep...another stressful...eventful day is waiting for me....

and yes I am listening to "yeh jo des hai tera....".....:))

aren't these lovely....

Mitti Ki Hai Jo Khushboo, Tu Kaise Bhulayega
Tu Chahe Kahin JaYeh, Tu Laut Ke Aayega
Nayee-Nayee Rahon Mein, Dabi-Dabi Aahon Mein
Khoyeh-Khoyeh Dil Se Tere Koi yeh Kahega

I have reached Chicago!

After the first day in the office, here I am sittng at home listening to "yeh jo des hai tera..."and getting nostalgic about everything....finally getting a chance to write down things...so many of them on my mind...

I reached Chicago on Saturday...all my way of that 18 hours' flight....I used to peep out of the window looking at the clouds n' pinching myself if i was dreaming...c'mon I deserve to feel this way...my first trip in the air made me feel amused!! but 18 hours were just too much at one go...it was getting onto me at the end of it....but yes I was amused....amused at the fact that an ordinary girl from a small town is experiencing this...not that its' that big a deal...but for me...yes it is...for many reasons to mention....at one corner of my heart I was crying...crying to leave the most important people of my life behind....leaving my country and goign to another place...but then again i never wanted to miss that opportunity especially when it had just come to me out of the blue!!
:))
at the end of everything all I feel is Amused!!

another big reason for me to get excited about was meeting my Chunnu!! after so long...! she had come over to pick me up....a friend's presence in a new place...a new country....means a lot!!
my weekend went great! chunnu ensured that it goes great! I started my stay in Schaumburg with the snowfall!! whtta scene mann!! all white around!!its' chilling out here... then I visited a temple...Hari Om Mandir...and it was the "Bhandara" day!! so had prasad in the mandir n' guess what ....the prasad included "COKE"....only to make me realize that I was in US's temple...!!:))

things are very different here...the way of life....the way of thinking...the behaviour...feels good to experience a new culture...something good n' something bad about it...! but the worst part is when you see people from ur land changing upside down aftr coming here....I still am unable to figure out what makes people change their self...their behaviour...their way of thoughts...is it the money, or the insecurity....or its' just another way to capture some attention....whatever it is...its' wierd....absolutely wierd...


I am still unable to figure out if I am feeling good or I am feeling sad...its' soemthing like...

"Everything around here is so fine...but then everything around here is not mine..."

no pollution, no poverty, all money, cleanliness, discipline...so many things to feel good about...but at the end of day I don't belong here...I belong to my India...my land....my country...I don't mind staying here and get a feel of things n' people...its' an experience worth cherishing about!! but at the end of day I wanna go back to India...bole to "Mera Bharat Mahan!!!"
n' yeah I am still listening to "yeh jo des hai tera..." I loved it...n' now I love it all the more...

Something...

Something I see…
Something I like…
Something I want…
Something I desire…
Something I remember…
Something I cherish...
I cry for something…
I smile for something…
I look for something…
I crave for something…
I dream for something…
I wait for something…
I am living for something…
I’ll die for something…
I wish I’ll be remembered for something…
I hope I’ll be missed for something…

I am sad...........

Abhishek got engaged to aish...
:(((((((

I am SAD...............

love ya Popat!!

Popat always cribs that I love her less and express it all the more less...(nice oxymoron isn't it!!?)…I dunno whats her measure for that…but I love her all the more for that cribbing…as for me…I am bad in expressing…so whenever popat turns to me with that puppy dog expression of not loving her…I bash her all the more!! And I enjoy that!!

I dunno why but the days spent with chunnu…popat…janu have been one of the best parts of my life…the golden days…maybe ‘coz we all were so much alike…inspite of being so different…each one with a unique temperament…a unique style…but at the end of day we were just a jing bang of four clowns…that’s what my dad used to call us…Those night long chats…the mindless comedy the four of us ended up doing…Sanu’s popats…washing clothes at 1:30 a.m., cooking food at 3:00 a.m!!! I just can’t get over it…our Happy High Family!!

Since chunnu and janu left…popat n’ I are together…fighting as always…janu n’ chunnu were so concerned about both of us together…’coz they knew how we love to fight with each other…even other people get tensed when they see both of us fighting…little do they know that’s our expression of love…!

At this juncture in life…everyone around me n’ popat are worried about our relationship except for the both of us!!! all advising us to think and behave with maturity…little do they know we two are just too good to handle these things…these tiny tweety bits of bad times here n’ there are not going to make any difference to us…popat and I gotta unique combo…she needs expressions all the time and I am too bad with it…popat cribs about me not telling her how much I love her… neither do I tell her that inspite of her cribbing!! And we love each other for that…

This writeup just for you popat…just to tell you…I love you…I love you lotsss…love your popats…ur just too good with those!!! I wish I cud catalog all those goof ups at one place…!! nothing big or small gonna make a difference in that…I’ll just be a call away..anytime and everytime…distances won’t matter to us…whoever goes…the other will just be following behind…

the combination of the four of us can never ever happen with anyone else…we are just too good together...I really wish for a time with the four clowns being together again to recreate the magic!! hope it happens soon...

pal...

Hum rahe ya na rahe kal
Kal yaad aayenge yeh pal
Pal, yeh hain pyaar ke pal
Chal, aa mere sang chal
Chal, soche kyaChhoti si hai zindagi
Kal mil jaaye to hogi khushnaseebi
Hum rahe ya na rahe,
yaad aayenge yeh pal
Shaam ka aanchal odhke aayi
Dekho voh raat suhaani
Aa likh de hum donon milke
Apni yeh prem kahaani
Hum rahe ya na rahe, yaad aayenge yeh pal
Aane waali subha jaane
Rang kya laaye deewaani
Meri chaahat ko rakh lena
Jaise koi nishaani
Hum rahe ya na rahe, yaad aayenge yeh pal
Hum rahe ya na rahe kal
Kal yaad aayenge yeh palPal,
yeh hain pyaar ke pal
Chal, aa mere sang chal
Chal, soche kya
Chhoti si hai zindagi
Kal mil jaaye to hogi khushnaseebi
Hum rahe ya na rahe, yaad aayenge yeh pal.................